WHY FEW INTIMATE RELATION ARE SHORT LIVED

In life at one point of time irrespective of age every one emotionally involves with opposite gender. How ever be, every one will fall under a magic spell. That enchanting spell will control our thoughts, actions and speech. We would tune to his/her emotional prerequisite and behave very differently to please them. When we grow emotional over a person we lose the ability to be logical and act in foolish ways we would never do other wise. We will yield to their emotional affection and tend to possess each other when we encounter this magic charm. I am talking about the phase when we walk on the line to possess the person and relationship with a subtle love for them which we won’t be realizing. If we walk on the line for long time, we surrender to their will or they will surrender to ours falling into something deeper and deeper until one day when we realize the intimate emotional bond vanished leaving only bruises and hurt in heart. The surrender will either bring eternal ecstasy or curse upon our self.The sensational feeling mostly buds in the form of beautiful friendship. Initial spell will trigger the friendship but moment the fascinating charm brings emotional attachment, dependency and the willingness to share every moment of our daily life it urges us to spend more time with them through all medium of communication. We will sneak our self from the hectic work schedule to spend time in each other’s company attempting to make ourselves understood or understand them. We will do late night talks over mobile, start the day with a call to or from them, rush back to desk after quick lunch to chat through net in between the work time so as we don’t miss an opportunity to share every moment of our day. Though we will be cherishing the blossomed beautiful intimate zealous platonic relationship, subtly our mind which is usually preoccupied with our own concerns now become filled with thoughts of other expecting them to think about us the way we think about them. Our emotional attachment, dependency and the thoughts of the other person that filled in our mind & heart will aspire to carry the friendship into a different relationship with a desire. We always want more in everything like the PEPSI tag line “Yeah Dil mangaey more”. The desire for new bondage will cast a power full spell of possessiveness possessing us. The mutely penetrated extra special feeling over them can be perpetual or ephemeral. How ever it is, we will enjoy living in the spell which enchants us giving a new experience of indescribable feelingWhen we are caught up in this want more feeling , we are pliable and emotional. We will be constantly influenced and manipulated to talk what they want to hear, to do what they feel good and just as often tune to their needs. Falling for this special feeling and willing to capitulate is not a matter of magic but of psychology. We suddenly feel haven in their emotional warmth and overwhelmed by them. We will pray the new found emotional warmth doesn’t sever but may not know how to handle ourselves when we have the desire to keep it eternal. This kind of special feeling, one step before love is a two edged knife. It can sprinkle eternal ecstasy or can leave us vulnerable, confused and lost.People are dying to be overwhelmed to let go their usual stubbornness and enjoy being vulnerable.When our heart is subjugated with the thoughts of other we try to express our emotional feeling or keen to know their interest. The fear of being ignored or rejected or judged urges us to find other’s feeling towards us in subtle way as we will not dare to sever the intimate platonic relation we enjoy till then. This is the feeling that carries the relationship into love. Lucky are those who are gifted to walk across the line creating a bond of love, but most of the time the emotional involvement walks us through the line demolishing the existing relationship and challenges the equation of the intimate emotional bond of friendship. Because most the time we eat more than what we can chew. The love towards a person will peep into our heart sidelining the love towards the relationship that exists mutually between us. Till the spell was casting a friendship bond we would have been sharing and enjoying each other’s company accepting the other as they are and loved the emotional bond with no expectation and prejudice. Moment we want more out of a relation ship we cross the line bringing an expectation into our heart making us fragile to get easily hurt. When situations fail to assist in leading the relationship further, we inflict a hex upon our self. The duality of the charming spell, hex, is so cruel that it will leave you completely naked, susceptible and lost. After a few incidents of hurts and humiliation, we will realize how foolish we behaved. We will start to feel we are taken for granted as well as we would have taken other for granted. We no more speak with open mind and the urge to share our emotions in a way we used to do deplete. We turn indifferent when our self pride is challenged and will try to inflict pain on each other through silence. Our self defense mechanism develops an invisible wall to avoid further hurt and humiliation by not expressing our emotions creating a distance and separation. We start to hate being vulnerable with them which at one time we are willing to be. We bring a stalemate in the relationship now but don’t know how to revert back and maintain the earlier enjoyed intimate emotional bond of friendship. We often lay and travel over one way traffic lane in relationships whether it is friendship, love or husband – wife. We expect from others but not ready to full fill their expectation. Our one way behavior would have gone beyond our control with plenty of disappointment yet will yearn to have the initial zealous friendship though by this time we would have walked over a long distance in the one way lane.The major reason for our inability to hold on any relationship after a few ruffling is we are not receptive to others. We want our need to be served but don’t bother to full fill others emotional need making them very vulnerable. At the extreme vulnerable state every one is insecure and afraid of loosing a relationship. When one is insecure in the relation, we fail to reassure them that we are there for them. We leave them with no reassurance due to our immaturity of taking them for granted or for our selfish concerns. We want others to be receptive and wish to hear regularly from them that we are valued, cherished and given importance in their life but we fail to reciprocate. We want others to reach us at the time of our difficulty with out being asked or judged but we fail to reach them when it is needed. Because, most of the time we walk in one way traffic lane. We want them to surrender to us but we don’t. We stop to share our emotions but expect from them .The intimate enchanting relationship gets under siege then. Everything perishes in one sided process. A single hand can never do a hand shake. During the siege, our heart will be filled with the thoughts of loved one more than what our mind was filled with during “yeah Dil Mangay more” enthralling stage. More we dwell in their thoughts more we want to reconnect with them yet mind urges us to avoid fearing the humiliation or hurt would repeat. We would have lost the wonderful relationship because we forgot the basic rule that sharing and expressing our emotions nurture the relationship. We develop an ego and avoid each other in a false hope that it would make us stronger but deep inside we will yearn to reconnect with them but wont know how to because we are egoistic and not ready to give away. The magic spell will create opportunity to get back the intimate friendship but we would be sarcastic to worsen it further. Most of us believe once the intimate emotional feeling is developed, there is no need to spend time with each other to thrive it forever. Every plant needs regular watering; nourishment and attention to have it blossom with flowers and fruits even if it has grown as a tree. The same is true with all relationships whether it is friendship, love or any other. Regularly reassuring the care towards each other is vital in any relationship other wise it will turn to be a malnourished child and will decompose one day.When the hurt is inflicted time doesn’t heal the wound. Silence or distancing doesn’t solve the purpose. It only aggravates the hurt and sows the seed for deceitful interactions creating an aversion over them on long run. If we win over our worthless ego and ready to forgive our selves & other, find time for each other as we did in the initial stages, talk openly venting out the entire suppressed wrath with no self justification and courage to accept the mistakes, we can retrieve the zealous enchanting relationship that existed before. If we do so, the relationship will be stronger than ever before even if we had inflicted pain to ourself and others. It is no concern as we will be looking to win back the earlier fervent friendship that existed with intimate altruistic emotional care and passionate support towards each other keeping us in high sprit & cheer bringing a positive vibes and strength in our life.Or the wonderful zealous, enchanting, emotional friendship will be just a past memory turning the once intimate friends to known strangers.