I love you........;)

And i don't want to fall to pieces I just wanna sit and stare at you I don't wanna talk about it And I don't want a conversation I just wanna cry in front of you I don't wanna talk about it 'Cause I'm in love with you. Lemme just hold you once Touch you, and feel your presence Gimme your shoulder to cry There's a lot of things i wanna say Say how much i love you everyday Even when you are gone so far away 'Cause i'm in love with you Let me hold your face in my hands As my eyes cry all your tears Lemme touch my lips to your cheeks And look into your beautiful eyes Tell you just how you mean The entire world to me 'Cause i'm in love with you 'Cause i love you like i've never And will never again ===============================

IT`S NOT EASY

I still see you in my dream That glued in my eyes It hurts but doesn`t help at all I still want you to be............ I still remember the day ,we met Calling ourselves, soulmates just the right for each others. There was something special with you I wanted to hold it for-ever with me With that killing smile, your voice of repling me back"Hi" Was so new and still rhyming in my ears Those twinklee of yours eyes embrassing me in comfort And verse of your lips carrying me to paradise. Out of no, when you said me on the coffe shop Wanted to sit & talk to you through the night. I found me new, crazy & unknown I dreamt our relation would never sever. I met you as a known stranger"where you comforted me with no more stranger" Showed a new world like an angle in a blue shirt Leading the day as in fairy tales. Two year had passed & we barely holding it together What happened to the way it all used to be I never wanted you out of my life, Sitting on bench for a long time pretending not to see I could not smile, laugf as i use to be earlier in a group no more without you Things have change & they change so fast Now is so barren & deserted . Am alone, i'am week; in every day as i Could not stop recalling the past. I cryed & i weep why it happen this way I have complain ? who's going to answer now? whom should i asked? where do i go? Does every problem has a solution? All my question are un answered Why it's with me only :(( I t didn't workout; of course you told it won't. It shouldn't have ended this way....., but It did and it shouldn't. I miss you and everything you were to me A fter years from now, when you look back......, We will be older and you will be able to see My feelings for you standing the test of Time.......Un rusted: :((

THE WEIRDEST THING

The weirdest thing is when we've been living almost half our life just being happy with things around us, how can one person makes such a major difference that makes us, so disheartened? is'nt love just psychological ? A state of mind.... love doesn't exist. why is companionship from this one person carved when company graves all around? This phase of self retrospection has been eye opening why we're smitten by some is still a question, but that t happens is not reciprocated? life went on and will still go on! nothing changes that.... and hence should make no difference. so with another me to me talk; Things have been sorted out and life goes on... fun... said... hilarious boring...disappointing... funny... but most importantly ...amusing:D love is not always reciprocated and also cannot be forced upon.so, maybe this is love...but.. i will let go...

QUESTION & ANSWER

Have you ever. 1.Smoked a cigarette? :only a few times. 2.Crashed a friend's car? :Never been behind the wheels. 3.Stolen a car? :Nope, not even a toy car 4.Been in love? :yup!! 5.Been dumped? :yup :(( 6.Shop lifted? :Hmm, nope. Guess am too big a Coward for that. 7.Been in a fist fight? : yeah!Sometime my karate practices would turn into one of those :D 8.Snuck out of your parent's house? :Nae, never struck me. 9.Had feeling for someone who didn`t have them back? :Yup kinda. 10.Been arrested? :Nope 11.Gone on a blind date?: Sadly No. 12.Skipped School? :Yes both school & college many times He He He....... 14.Been on a plane? :Yes. 15.Seen Someone die? :Nope,Never want to 16.Been to Canada? :Nope 17.Purposely set a part of yourself on fire? :Nope 18.Been jet-skiing? :No again 19.Met someone in person from the Internet? :soon going to....:) 20.Taken pain killers? :yes many time. 21.Flown a kite? :Sadly no 22.Build a sand castle? :Nope, never been to the beach much 23.Gone puddle jumping? :Yuck! I hate dirty feet. 24.Cheated while playing a game? : Hmmmm, I don`t remember. 25.Been lonely? :yes! still also & a lot back in the past. 26.Fallen asleep at work or school/college? :Yup 27.Used a fake ID? :No, Never. 28.Felt an earthquake? :Yup. twice though but that to be v- mild one. 29.Touched a snake? :Not unless you count a toy snake 30.Slept beneath the stars? :Oh yeah! 31.Been misunderstood? Hmm, a couple of times, on trivial matters to a trivial extent. 32.Won a contest? : Yeah, a couple of time. 33.Run a red light/stop sign? :Humm, no. 34.Been suspended from the school? :Nope. 35.Been in a car accident? :NO 36.Eaten a whole pint of ice-cream in one night? :No:( 37.Walked the street drunk? : No Though. but i wanna to give a try. 38.Had dejavu? :Many times, mostly in childhood 39.Danced in the moonlight? :Hmm, no wait, yeah a couple of times again 40.Witnessed a crime? : Nope not yet. 41.Been obsessed with post-it notes? :Nope 42.Squished bare foot through the mud? :I said i hate dirty feet. 43.Been lost? : Yeah! many time. 44.Been on the opposite side of the country? :Yeah,down there in south. 45.Swum in the ocean? yes. 46.Cried yourself to sleep? : Again allot, in my childhood. 47.Played cops & robbers? :Yeah. 48.Recently coloured with crayons? : yup:) 49.Sung Karaoke? : Nope 50.Paid for a meal with only coins? :Nope 51.Done something you told yourself you would`nt? :Oh!yeah,&DAT too a big one. 52.Made prank phone calls? : Yup, that too my principal & quite a few with my friends too 53.Caught a snow flake on your tongue? :Haven`t seen one even, & you talking of ca hing it 54.Written a letter to Santa clause? :No, Don`t be live in santes. 55.Blow bubbles? : Yup yup yup!!! 56.Bonfire on the beach? :No beach, bonfire in the garden though. 57.Cheated on the test? ; yeah at school time. 58.Gone skinny- dipping in a pool? :Yup in childhood but now no pool, no swims, no skinny dips:D 59.Still miss somebody? :Um mm..... yeah.. i do:(( 60.Pray to God? : yes daily before going to bed:)

ALMOST FAMOUS

The peddlers of dreams have arrived and have sprinkled stardust in the eyes of my friends.suddenly,a lot of people around me have started gearing up to try their luck in the various 'talent hunts' that have replaced the sob operas on television. one has got his hair streaked in rainbow colours purchased a second-hand leather jacket & donned a pair of shades because, according to him,"It's all about looking cool". I think he looks like an alien. Another is investing in a stockpile of mobile SIM cards to gifts to his/her friends so they can help him SMS his way to fame and glory.He now has enough case he doesn't make it to the big league.. And yet another is learning how to shriek hysterically with happiness, & dissolve into tears with equal rapidity,"she declares. And how about practising some singing? i ask, bewildered. Aren't the talent shows suppose to be `platforms for emerging voice of India "? They all give me a pitying look & walk away with their about -to-be famous noses in the air. And who can forget the judges, the true stars of the shows? Ranging from quarrelsome to rude, they convey a gamut of emotions Matched only by complete works of Shakespeare. clad in designer suites, they laugh, fight & stay walkouts better than our politicians in parliament. But the ones who have my full sympathy are the hapless anchors whose job profile have whittled down to announcing the names of the contestants & commercial breaks. they stand in the background, smiling vaguely contestant who breaks down into tears after strategically falling into the anchor's arms. yet, such is the lure of these shows that we all enjoy watching the mellodramma unfold in all its glitzy splendour. maybe it's because they shows ordinary people like us making it to the top. if only for a brief moment. in the end, i suppose, it is about talent. And ever since my above mentioned three friends were booted out right in the first round, my faith in the selection process has been restored.

LET HIM GO

The most different thing in the world letting go of someone you've held close closer than anything else. leaving the hand you had wanted to hold for eternity. it's strange how you always thought of yourself as selfish & yet, here you are thinking about the pain when your heart is crying out wishing for him happiness when all you are left with is sadness. but you loved him and that's what matters no matter how far he drifts apart you'll still love him hate anger,remorse?? why? you always knew it was going to end you were living an impossible dream one that wasn`t happily ever after, there's almost a sense of deja`vu as you had almost imagined it so imagined him leaving you the manner of it is minor detail what will you do now if you meet him again on some corner some road,someday look into those eyes again? or see through him. whatever you do,you won`t escape the dull ache in your heart as you are bathed again in his fragrance of his smile. but these aren't your thought now there's a big long night ahead and there's allot of crying to do:(( one day i started believing in life in love and that very same day i die.

THE PERFECT STRESS BUSTERS

(This post is 4om my another blogside i have written it so well that i like 2 put here aswell it`s among my favourite post) hope u 2 like it;-)) Things that take off my exhaustion and help me look at my troubles straight in the eye.....Play with dog. His cute head tilted slightly , his warm brown eyes probing me and his tail wagging hard, inviting me to run with him and play with him. Gives me the wonderful feeling that someone loves me and looks up to me and is there for me, even if its a dog. His actions make me laugh and I forget all the troubles of the day.I lay on the bed with the lights turned off. The cool white moonlight streams into the room through the window, filling the otherwise blank wall with shadows of trees. Even though black, they take me into a wonderland of colourful imagination...far from the madding crowd. A cold breeze stroking my face, ruffling my hair, and the sound of a single truck growling down a distant road.... take me far from the madding crowd, far from the problems of everyday life.A long drive at night. No one on the road save one or two vehicles. The sky a perfect black jewelbox flaunting its jewels...all shiny and sparkling. Open fields on either side, flanked by trees and hills, a lone house in the middle. Inside the city, houses in different states of their preparations to end the day. Some still lit up, some dimly, some all dark. And while the world's sleeping, I ride along, going where the road takes me. Speed kills...... my exhaustion and anxiety. As I spread out my arms, feeling the air in my face, as the speed gives me the sense of power and control. I hear nothing.....only the wind in my ears. Is it saying something? Listen to my song it says.A jog in the morning. Enjoy the cool dawn......getting up before the Sun, watching nature start a new day. Feeling the cool electric energy rush through my body as I step out of the stale warmth of my room into the fresh air. As I run ahead, watching shadows materialise....when the grey-black world slowly turns colourful. Running hard, panting hard, my lungs taking in the fresh air to their fullest, every sinew of my body straining hard for what its worth for. As body and mind unite towards a single goal....just a little further,just a little further. And when I return, the Sun shining, the World wide awake, starting a new day.....I feel glad that I didn't miss anything. Confident that I can face the new day bravely.

HIDDEN SORROWS

What had I Done? why? It pains, loosing a relation And friend:( An unimaginable agony! did my ordinary expression unravelled you?

why DID I DO:-\

AM I A geek girl?

making both to feel awful.

where will i hide my sorrow now?

if i could, i would penetrate to wipe,

The sorrow but no way to know

where your sorrow are hidden?:((

DIFFERENCE

I could live with out you; letting you live without me, making you feel how it would `ve made a difference to you, If we'd been together.

EXPERIENCE

I cant tell you how grateful I am to all of you for enduring my whims and patiently listening to my crabby talks :) Blogging has made me pretty self-reliant and most of all,it has made me aware of a side to myself which even I was not completely latched onto.And that's amazing! But what matters most is the experience that comes with any endeavour that one is really proud of. When something steers me away from the plethora of inhibitions,variety of apprehensions(that a person like me is principally made of ) and help me come to terms with realities of life,I'm forced to think it's Magic! Then though, there is a possibility in every chance and probablity in every decision.No,I'm not confused.Life throws a chance and a decision is thrown back.Sounds classically "text-book" in nature but it's true.The key to being wise is to throw a right decision back even when numerous other feasible decisions crop up.Nothing turns out right but something still emerges.And it is a change that causes it.And it's experience that brings about a change.Dazzling indeedAnd when things go wrong it's experience that prompts one from stop wondering.Because wondering about something in the wrong is like being blind towards the right things that come with it.Every struggle,every circumstance,every hazard...just about everything had something to put in me.These nuggets of wisdom that I chanced upon came a long way in making me sort out a lot of things.And that's good enough because knowing that I know how to act itself is relieving.but hang on..illusion+hallucination+assumption= great confusionAnd have I done just that?All right but now, Welcome back to my wonky zonky world :)